Healing crisis

I’m in the early stages of of my fast (the proper, hardcore one) and I’m noticing pain.

At first I thought it was the bed, because I’ve got the world’s most comfy bed at home, with a mattress that does ALL the good things to my spine.

At my retreat? Not so much.

But the pain is moving. The source stays the same, but the pain has radiated to my neck and right shoulder.

I know its a blockage in my energy and the healer I’m working with said as much. My heart chakra is imbalanced.

I wasn’t shocked. It makes sense. I’m going through a separation.

Listening to myself

There’s a lot of things that have happened over the last few months that just click now.

As a holistic trainer, I’ve always told my clients to listen to their bodies and their instincts. I practise what I preach (most of the time) and recently, my truths have been bombarding me.

This becomes more pronounced when I fast. There’s nothing to hide behind: no drink or food that can dull emotions; no medication to ‘fix’ me, and no loved ones to provide comfort and the necessary lies I want to hear.

It’s just me. Alone. Dealing with a lot of emotional shit.

Today’s lesson is…

…my heart is hurting.

…my life is changing.

…I’m going to be without someone I love.

…I need to (actively) love myself, because I haven’t for a long time.

This fast is painful because I’m going through a healing crisis. And, I’m okay with that.

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