The art of self-deception

As I move into a new stage in my life, I’ve realised that I must be true to myself. Regardless.

By today’s standards, it is REALLY easy to pretend to be someone you’re not. (I see you Facebook).

Self-deception starts easily enough:

  • not saying how you really feel
  • posting one of those ‘look how fab my life is’ posts on social media
  • smiling when you don’t want to
  • saying “I’m good, thanks” when you’re not
  • ignoring small warning signs

The more we try to show the world how great we have it, the more insidious self-deception becomes. Until finally, our presence in life is one big stage show.

Hostage Situation

I think that’s when depression comes tearing in. It tears down the facades. Kicks in the pretty pictures on your social media with big dirty boots.

There’s nowhere to hide and depression comes to take you hostage.

It sits you on a hard chair in the middle of a dark room and shines a light directly at you.

“Are you ready to be honest?” Depression asks.

You stammer out, “But, I’m fine! I’m happy with the status quo.”

Wrong answer asshole.

Depression looks at you remorselessly, smacks you round the face and asks again, “Are you ready to be honest?”

How long this continues, is up to the individual, but eventually you break.

You’re too fucking tired. Depression has worn you down and all that’s left is the truth.

Aftermath

What comes next is up to you.

For me it was honesty. Good ol’fashioned honesty.

And heartbreak.

And hope.

 

 

 

 

 

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